Eff French, Man

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to studying.

My quick summation of my trip to Denver:

- Made Tyler nearly faint in my arms when I ran at him screaming at the airport. He had no idea I was coming. 

- Had a penis shoved in my hands while dancing
- Saw Barack Obama speak
- Went to Art Museum and fell in love with Daniel Sprick

- Made a boy fall in love with me from 10 seconds of 4 a.m. piss drunk sloppy kissing

- Had a middle aged woman show me how she would get fucked if she joined the Mile High club

- Saw Geneive's titties

- Met Scarlett Johansson's twin brother. Proceeded to hit on him and tell him dirty jokes. And had my friend Megan sleep with him just so Tyler and I knew how big he penis was.

- Lost my phone (of course)

That's all I can remember right now, I am still haggard and exhausted from non-stop running around. I felt so horrible leaving Tyler behind, that boy completes me. 

Man, I am lonely.

Just determined that.

Good conversation? Anyone?

I love you, Grace.

By the way, I had another dog dream last night.

I need to find Popsicle! Is it bad I want to get a girl dog just so I can name her Popsicle and call her Poppy for short? And Pop. And maybe sicle. 

Out of the blue, my friend from Massachuetts, who I worked with in New Orleans, called me yesterday. She's a babe too, so I felt extra loved. It was just crazy catching up with someone I knew for a week, but who I will always consider a friend. And one of the really fun girls had a baby? Whhaaa? Mary and I got this girl WICKED stoned on her birthday while we were down there. I say wicked because she couldn't stop saying how "wicked ripped" she was in a complete Boston accent. That blew my mind a little bit. Anyway, that was a nice surprise. 

I've been geeking out... On everything. Ted.com has been my own personal professor and I've been keeping up with what's going on the economy and politics. I FEEL SO INFORMED! I might implode. 

I watched this movie last night and sang along the whole time:

I want a fucking dog

I saw Quarantine over the weekend and it was pretty good. I mean, it definitely tried to take the zombie genre to a new place and it worked. So, SEE IT.

Cute and adorable are the two words guys used to describe me allllll the time. For once, someone say stud or beefcake or snarly man dragon. SOMETHING BETTER THAN CUTE AND ADORABLE. I'M NOT A FUCKING FLUFFY KITTEN, OKAY?

Dancing was definitely a huge part of this weekend. Daniel and I had a mini dance party in my apartment two nights in a row then we busted it out at Rumours. But I was way gone.

Running in the morning has become nice. I love Boulevard Park. 

By the way, from what I can tell, people in Kenya want Obama to win. Real bad. 

Daniel and I watched John Carpenter's Vampires last night, and it was spectacular.

SEE FOR YOURSELF:

Daniel Baldwin and James Woods star in it. Haha, there's this hooker chick they take after she's been bitten and they smack her around all the time. It's hiiiillllaaaarrious. James Woods even compared vampires to gays, gotta love that. 

OH, and it has Carter from Lost World in it. Ya know, the guy who has the headphones on during the Compsognathus scene.

I really love the squirrels outside my living room window. They like to fight on the cable right out front and it's adorable. 

I'm tired of being so transparent and not being able to hide myself when I want to. I guess not putting yourself in situations where people might draw inferences is a good idea. 

Growing up has been on my mind lately, and I'm getting there—ever so slowly. 

I say this as I'm wearing high-tops, skinny grey jeans, a flamboyant t-shirt and a winter furry hat. I will always be a kid at heart, but I'm graduating, traveling and moving to a new city ALL in 2009. It's time to take a deep breath in before the exhale. 

Brilliant.

I'm listening to audio from my teacher's trip to Kenya, and I kind of feel weird doing it but I think it's going to be fun. From the stuff I heard, I'd totally go down there to help out... GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY. 

And Kenyan Comedy isn't very funny. 

I'm a terrible friend.

Before I sent a little card off to Tyler, I wrote some nasty things on the envelope... You know, to produce embarassment. Things like, "Tyler has herpes" or "is a total bottom." That ain't so bad, right? 

...

Right? 

I secretly hope Tyler's mom or dad finds it. 

I'm sending Mary her money, even if I'm fronting $100 bucks of it. I miss her and money should never come between good friends. She is a great friend, even if she can dyke out hardcore. Like hardcore. 

Little Spoon Envy

My first thoughts when I woke up.

I've been on autopilot all day. I woke up, cleaned the MOUNTAIN of dishes and then went on the single best study session of my life. 

This is why:

Did I mention my bag has googly eyes on it too? 

Okay you guys, I looked like a psycho today—I bought 3100 googly eyes from the Dollar Tree! MY COSTUME WILL BE AWESOME!!

I like getting excited over stupid stuff, it helps me relax.

I'M IN LOVE

I think I'm a decade late, but MAZZY STAR SPEAKS TO ME! 

As soon as I heard one of their songs, I downloaded every album and everything has been amazing. 

Je suis meilleur que ce

I did the most amazing thing yesterday, Daniel and I went to the nude beach on Chuckanut. I got to whip out my nuts and felt the sea breeze brush them softly WITHOUT it being illegal. 

I decided I've been asleep too long. For the first time, I can see what's around me. It took awhile, I kind of lost myself there for a bit. Phew!

Has anyone seen Green Porno? Well, Daniel and I watched Death Becomes Her with Isabelli Rossellinni and it reminded me that she does she webisodes for the Sundance Channel. It's creative and funny shit. I watched every one straight threw, I felt like I was watching the birth of Jesus. THAT GOOD. 

I love naming inanimate objects, it's become a sick addiction. Except I can never stick with a name... Maybe I just like personifying things because I like living in a play house? Keep me away from glue and googly eyes. Man, I got drunk the other night and woke up to find my bamboo stick with some peepers on it.

LOOK AT MY OLD LIVEJOURNAL USER PIC:

How retarded, right?

P.s.- That hyperlink scared the shit out of me. 

If you ever wondered what goes on in my mind, here it is:

*Thanks Tristan

Snizz and his new BFF, to-be-named. 

Drunken art with Daniel!! He is my plutonic boyfriend.

Ugly Rats

I love animals.

It's called love, baby. And I'm full of it.

This is one of my favorite scenes in cinematic history. 

I bought this comic yesterday and it's absolutely hilarious. Animals wearing cybertronic suits! How could you go wrong?

I just bought my first and probably only unitard. Only mine covers a lot more of my nipples. 

I'm going to be the googliest googly-eye monster ever. JUST WAIT.

Does anyone else watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? 

It's delicious and I strongly suggest everyone watch it. 

The Paralympics are an amazing testament to the endurance and adaptability of man. I admire everyone who is able to triumph over their disability. When I first saw the pictures from the 2008 Beijing Paralympics, I was awestruck. Mainly, because my ultimate fear is to lose a limp and have a stump. However, I would get a sweet hook and/or projector on my stump. It would be the most amazing and lovely stump of all stumps. Is it bad to say stumps? ANYWAYS, I thought it was so cool. 

LOOK:

Sweet huh?

However, I think the mascot is a little unfit for these games... 

Look at it dance! 

That's like when the Home Extreme Make Over guy told the girl with no legs that there a lot of leg room in their new car.

...

EXPLOSIONS ALL AROUND!

Snap, crackle and pop! KA-BOOM!!!!

These were my first thoughts this morning. Ah, and I will be discussing the Paralympics in my next post. JUST FYI.

I'm a fighter without a battle.