Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

Whoa! Changes all around! I decided this blog needed a revamp. Nothing big, just more expressive and boastful--but not in the "My cock's bigger than yours" bullshit.

I want to try to like see if I can snag some random bloggers. Maybe become this huge blogger who just sits on his ass without having any sort of insurance, and gets to just get to play it cool.

Same old shit though:

Does that say demonstrate to you how much I love counting?   

Everday I get looks of disapproval from older, more traditional folks. Is it the mohawk? Dunno. The plugs? Maybe... Combination of both? Probably. The fact I'm a ginger? Definitely.

Anyway, this is to all you granny's without an imagination: Suck my ass.

WHOA! TOTALLY BUYING THIS.

BEST. THING. EVER!!!

http://twitter.com/ginnycase

This woman is tweeting while giving birth. HECK YES!

More reasons to love Donovan

I deactivated my Facebook today. Why? To get the fuck away from it. I can't simply not use it. No, no... I need to cut it from my daily routine, just like I have to with situations I don't want to be around. It's cliche to say I'm tired of "drama," because that will always happen. The only thing you can do is approach each day with a fresh outlook. The only problem with that is some problems carry over to the next day...

I don't know when I'll "reactivate" my account, maybe when I've achieved a goal. Or when I save more abandoned babies like that one dog (WHO IS THE "EFFING" BEST ANIMAL ON THE PLANET).

Did you know that Colossus Squid scientists found in an iceberg was really just a useless sex whore who didn't get her bits "fucked" in time to procreate?

READ!

And look how good this kids show is:

God, I feel so immature sometimes. Can't I just let go like everyone else? SHEESH. It's so frustrating to be worked up over something so so tired.

Jesus Christ, I was all sorts of random last night.

Well, let me try to lay it down better...

Jordan and I are driving to Everett to visit Tristan tonight. I'm really excited to see the little bitch in the slammer. Apparently, everyone in jail thinks Tristan is a straight gang banger...
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Anyone who has met Tristan knows he has a flame that burns brighter than the sun. But I have to give him kudos for staying strong and getting the respect of his fellow inmates. Apparently, jail has a lot of hot crackheads. Who know?

I cannot wait to graduate. I want to move on to the next stage in my life. I feel like a plane continuously circling the runway, waiting for permission to land. Yeah, being in the clouds is fun n' shit, but I need something more. Plus, I want to go on an epic journey, probably by myself. I haven't worked out the exact details and probably won't for awhile, but I want to be a stranger in a strange land. I want to put myself in situations where I have to figure my way out. I want to test myself and see what I am capable of doing without a home to run back to. Then I'll look for work, I just need like three months for myself.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you already.

Right now, I'm searching for peace of mind. Hopefully, I will find it.

How cliche is it to be down on a rainy day? GEEZ. I think a zombie apocalypse will give me the change I need.

LOOK AT THESE:

My favorite one is the second.

There are too many things I have yet to learn--And yet more to become routine. 

So, on Friday, the other interns and I were on this conference call with the HR department and I was talking to my intern friend on IM. She reminds me a lot of Allie, only more excited--Hard to image, right? Well, she dares me to blow fart noises on the call. So immature me does, and we laugh. It was pretty humorous for an office day. As everyone knows, the office is completely boring otherwise. 

My WiiFit is a bitch, but I love it. 

I bought a new ring at an Army Surplus store down in Ojai on Monday. It's quite the "baller holler" hunk of metal. Everytime I walk by the receptionist at my work, which is a lot, I have her kiss it.

Demeaning? Maybe... Charming? Me? Maybe... Fun? Always.

Feelin' So Good, Like I Knew I Would

I think to myself too much.

I can seriously get lost in here.

I need more rope ladders; JUST FYI.

I've missed Bridgette, she's always so positive.

I bought a picture book by a guy named Michael Whelan, he's a sci-fi and fantasy book cover artist. How obscure, right? Well, he wades deep on the bizarre side.

I dig it. I also bought a sweet calendar babe book from the 80's. Man, there's something about teased hair and titties that just gets me going. It's an artistic appreciation.

I might be back at square one but...

Man, I am blessed to have a few great people in my life.

I came out to my aunt yesterday, and it went so well. I had been waiting for a window the entire trip to come out to my cousin and my aunt. I kept on dropping hints like:

"Yeah, I got a bar put through my ear while my valentine was getting a tattoo."

No one bit. But then on the way to Fred Segal (Very Trendy/Gay Store in Hollywood) my aunt and I were having a convo about my gay friends. She then turns to me and says, "Honey, are you gay?" So, I fessed up. She said she's known since I was a little kid. Apparently, I was a little flammer. HOW CUTE, RIGHT? RIGHT?

... Right?

She told me she loved me and that she felt honored I told her. Then we began to talk about coming out to the rest of the family and how it wouldn't be a big deal because everyone loves me. I've had my reservations about telling my cousin's husband because he's a total guy's guy, but him and I are best buds. He's the one who introduced me to horror when I was a wee lad. He's the reason I couldn't sleep some nights down there because I thought Michael Myers was gonna come gut me. But my aunt reassured me he loves me for who I am, and probably because him and I talk about farting and shitting all the time.

SO YEAH! That was a big deal for me. Plus, I thought it was funny I came out to her while on our way to this high fashion store to look for celebrities, or Hammerheads as my aunt calls them.

FUNNY STORY!

So, my cousin, her husband, their 8-year-old son (Warren) and 6-year-old daughter (Ava) were watching Jaws and the scene where the severed hand on the beach was on and my lil cousin Ava started to scream in pure terror. My cousin was like, "Oh my God we are terrible parents for showing our little girl this." Amongst her crying fit Ava said, "I.... I dddiddn't get to se-ssseee what color nail polish she had on!" HOW CUTE, she is totally related to me.

I really missed my family and I already have confirmed I'll be down there for Thanksgiving.

Scroll down, pick one and I'll buy it for you.

CLICK MEH

I say it because you never know with whores.

My favorite is Crystal G. Breedlove.

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So, I got the most unexpected delight while listening to NPR today. The Chairman for the Special Olympics was on expressing his outrage against the defamation of handicap folk in the upcoming Tropic Thunder movie (WANNA SEE IT). When he asked if he wanted to see the movie, he replied, "I have no special need to..."

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TEEHEE! GET IT!? SPECIAL NEED TO! HILARIOUS! WOOO SPECIAL NEEDS!

SEE! EVEN THE MIDDLE AGES HAD DIGIMON! Dumbass...

My Life Purpose

I now know what I have to do. I have to save Samuel L. Jackson.

According to this picture (and Final Destination), he's next.

Dear God,

Please gimme the strength to save this iconic badass' life. Oh, and could you take care of that bitch Nancy Grace? GOD, I HATE HER! You know...

XOXO,

RyRy

I wish, I wish I didn't sweat the small stuff. 

Peaches and Plums

I've heard this song but had never seen the music video; I like it.

However, I don't like this one so much:


I had a re-understanding of MySpace today. It ain't so bad... Except for the millions of Ukrainian prostitutes trying to add me.

I had fun last night. Like, legitimate fun, with new people. It was cool being the guy who only knew one person there, I charmed it up by talking about bobbing for apples with your asshole. We played truth or dare and it was completely harmless, but nasty at the same time. Donovan gave a strip tease to a homeless person who gave us like seven vitamin waters. Needless to say, I dared this guy to put his mouth over a water foundation faucet, but he chickened out and I dared him to have condiments painted on his face.

That resulted in this:

Silly, huh? He looks like a leper and or Lindsey Lohan.

Remind me to show you my new print and new glasses, 'cos I know you want to see.

MY POOR LITTLE BUDDY! It's Tyler's birthday and he's in the hospital with appendicitis! He has had more diseases in the past three months than... Umm... Michael J. Fox? The Golden Girls? Nevermind... He's just a sick fella. 

Bleh.

I feel like the littlest thing could break me right now. I'm just making poor choices to deal with stuff and it's pissing me off. Not to mention stressing out about everything. 

Right now, we're modge podging lighters. It's fun, especially 'cos it's Tristan last night before entering house arrest. SHIT.

Did you hear about this:

CLICK MEH 

FUCK THAT! FUCK THAT SO HARD! I can't even think about it. 

Anyways, Tale Spin rocks my world and so do BitTorrents. 

Crackhead Fairytales

I'm a terrible person, but we already knew that. But like, I did something especially cruel this time. It was so funny though! At least while I was doing it... Now, I'm just filled with remorse.

OKAY, so I'm sitting in my apartment listening to music ('cos that's basically all I can do there without internet or T.V.) and all of the sudden I hear loud crying bringing carried in on the warm evening breeze. I pause, thinking it was merely my brain being crazy, then I hear it again. So, I slink to the window to see a crackhead huddled in the corner of the parking lot fence and a brick wall. He's flailing his arms around feeling various things while crying. He touched a car, a bike, the brick wall, the ground, the fence and finally a sticker bush. Now, a normal person might come down and offer the man a cup of coffee and a nice warm meal. Me, on the other hand, call Tristan to tell him about how funny it is. Then that evil bastard tells me to put my phone next to the window and he'll call back so the crackhead will hear my ringer (Tristan going, "GROAN!!!! GROAN!!!! GROAN!!!"). I oblige and laugh while doing it. Then the ringer goes and he starts crying harder. GOD, I'M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON. Oh well... I called Ash when the guy was smoking some more rocks and that was an experience. After he used a PBR can to smoke his crack, he lied down in the alley behind my building. He eventually cried himself on his feet and ran off screaming, "I'LL BE BACK!!!"

Funny, right?

Oh, I just bought tickets to Goldfrapp in September. Holla. Thanks Josh for introducing her majesty to me, I haven't been the same since. 

Oh ho

Sorry to start with a dead construction... THERE ARE two things I keep forgetting to mention.

1. Everyone should really pay attention to Twitter, it's freakin' sweet.

Here's the textbook definition, as written by me:

"Unlike other social networking sites, Twitter allows text-based posts (otherwise known as tweets) of up to 140 characters in length. These tweets are displayed on the user’s profile and then broadcasted to other Twitter users when they sign on. A selection tool is available to limit the flow of information. Twitter recieves approximately 46,688 unique visits per month.
Users can receive updates via the Twitter website, instant messaging, SMS, RSS, e-mail or through an application such as Twitterrific or Facebook. Several third parties offer posting and receiving updates via e-mail. The “track” filter option allows users to filter tweets by topics and keywords. There is no need to join Twitter to search the tweets database; anyone may access search.twitter.com. However, to begin tweeting, users must register. For more information about tweeting, visit the Twitter help “Knowledge Book”. For up-to-date information about the company, visit the Twitter Blog."

This is the kind of stuff I write for my internship, I find the pop culture information very interesting.

Follow me: ZombiePhobe

What was the second thing I was gonna tell you? Hmm...

This is why I'm not allowed to smoke. But then again my liver isn't allowed to drink. WHAT CAN A MAN DO, HUH? Shit.

Are my balls made of delicious gold? Or gummy bears? CUZ FUCK! I guess it's my season but I am being hollered at like a mother fucker. It's flattering and all, but the attention kind of weirds me out. It's all good, I'm wearing my chastity belt. Remember the first Resident Evil movie? Remember that laser grid? Yeah, that shit will come out if you go anywhere near my junk.