Avocado Fields

We did something bad the other night. Let's just say I saw Pamela Anderson showing me her panties in my star visualizer. Yeah, sounds crazy, right? I must say it did make me reassess my commitment to Sigourney Weaver.

I love the independence my apartment in Seattle brings me, I have done so much in such a short amount of time. How you ask? By being within walking distance of EVERYTHING! WOO! However, sometimes I do miss the solidarity of the parent's home. 

Tristan made Chicken Masala for lunch yesterday, and I'm still spit dribbling. 

I have officially decided I love my job. Everyone I work with is a sweetheart and I'm learning such weird and interesting things about society, how we communicate and how we persuade the public to believe in certain things. This means I can manipulate the pants off of you through social media! WOO!! YEAH! 

Another great thing about my apartment in Seattle is not having internet. SO, I have to go local coffee shops to look at porn. Just kidding, I'm simply reading other blogs. But I love being an observer of the life in the city. Man, I cannot wait for the next stage of my life. Some stability will be nice, but I don't know I can live in a formula. Having a rigid schedule and/or commitment scares the pubes off me. 

LIFE IS GOOD! Yeah, there are some areas that need more attention or could be better. But for the most part, I am having a blast. 

OH, and I'm going to visit some family in California on August 14, we have an empty house if anyone is interested in going... But no worries if not! Cuz, I will be watching horror movies, looking for rattle snakes and bears, shopping, surfing at the beach, buying some sweet toys and enjoying the majestic beauty of Ojai, California by myself. 

To reiterate:

Eating deliciously.  

Take. Me. Away. From here.

Knowing when to ditch

I think I'm racist towards Asians. I've come to this startling conclusion after observing most of my humor is at the expense of Asians.

For instance:

Why the eff does this tickle me so much? I know I'm not a true racist, but what is my deal? Geez, I must have been scared badddd.

I just got back from my first business trip today. It was great, everyone in my team is quirkie in their own way and it makes me hopeful; maybe this is something actually different from corporate life. GOD, I don't want to end up a yuppy, that is one of my biggest fears.

...Well fuck, I guess I've already started... Sad face...

OH, Batman assaulted his mommy and sister! WOW! Fuck Christian, really? Come on, let's talk about this.

Shit, this vid is crazy! It's sweet though.

I think I have a problem over analyzing things... GOD, 22 and already going bat shit. Eff, thank God for the boat, it's gonna save my life! HELLO WEEKEND! YES, IN THE HIGH 70's! WOO! PARTY! WOO!

Sigh

A Celestial High

God, sometimes my grammar is appalling. I guess that's what happens when my mind works faster than my hands.

LOOKIE AT WHAT I BOUGHT!!!



TA-DA!

Looks fruity, don't it?

It blasts star and nebula lasers! WOOOO!!! I'm so doing a 1950's Moonbase theme for my new Bellingham apartment!

No more swimming in shallow waters

I say this with a heavy sigh—It happened again. I have been discredited and abandoned by a group of friends who are taking Katie's side. Her side—the side filled with lies, flamboyant expenditures of money (on her parent's behalf) and an ugly ass weave. 

She is the best and worst part of my life. At one time, she was my other half, I guess you could say we were co-dependent. She then started pushing people away, telling lies and then believing her lies. I just wish she was the good person I knew so long ago. She doesn't care about anyone else. She just flashes money and apparently that shows true friendship. Oh well.

Here is the gist of the shittiest: I texted Joe telling him I felt a little abandoned after I hadn't seen him in two weeks and the few times he has contacted me back, he's with Kate. I told him he wasn't putting effort into our friendship, because he wasn't. So, I later get a call from Joe. No one is on the line, all I can hear in the background is a room full of people talking complete and utter shit about me. My "friends" Katie (Not the Devil) and Doug were talking about how petty I am, how I lie all the time. I lie? I lie? What? When the fuck have I lied about anything important? But yeah, there's the gist.

As I told Josh, I just want some fucking stability in my life. I'm tired of all of this pollution, man. It's waring me thin. And again, I am abandoned... Fuck this. 

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At least I know who my true friends are.

If you love/infatuated with learning, I got just the magical elixor for you.

TA-DA!

It's a video site where professionals, experts, theorists, etc. give presentations their various fields and theories. It's actually quite addicting, my brain already feels soggy.

Everyone in my office knows I love Sigourney Weaver now, they all think it's hilarious. One girl asked, "Who even knows who she is?!" I got slightly offended! GORILLAS IN THE MIST, PEOPLE!

I also had lunch with a gay co-worker yesterday, he's a sweetheart. He refers to his boyfriend as his partner! They have been together for seven years! Holy shit, but amen to them! He's like 27 or 28 and he's practically married! Yeah, I might want to be together with someone I love, but fuck that big of a label is scary as this child:

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How do you master patience?

Back to the early years

I am exhausted, too much to digest. 

Life keeps on repeating itself and it's not fun, man. Bro. Dude. 

I'm trying to shake the last couple months and get myself more organized. And since I don't have an apartment, I have two choices— live for free and spend lavishly or live how I want and be thrifty. SO, I decided to cash in and live at the parents. Fuck, this will be something to behold. 

I'm using my brother's blue lava lamp, it's comforting. 

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Motivation is a mystery to me right now. 

Razor Clam Cuts Suck

I had a great weekend, just what I needed. And to wrap it up, I saw Wall-E and about shit during the entire thing. AND SIGGY IS IN IT! SIGOURNEY! She's the Space Ships voice. Good message too—humans are sheep.

Has anyone ever heard of a Tenori-On?

You can make music and give yourself a light show. Wow, seriously? There are some sweet videos of people using them on YouTube—TOTALLY SWEET.

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People are not snowflakes. 

Sometimes I wish I were a cannibal

Kate did it again, she left me hanging dry. Oh, woe is me. Eff that, there has been a reason I’ve been so closed off with her. I know her—I know she is master arson, she burns bridges like a mother fucker.

Lesson Learned: Protect self against pollutants. Is there a sun block against crazy fucks?

So, another perk of my job is I’m on the inside loop as far of emerging technology and next generation gaming. However, under strict penalty of hanging, I can’t reveal the information.

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XBOX IS PARTNERING WITH NETFLIX! OKAY!? GEEZ! WAY TO FORCE IT OUT OF ME! This means, you can watch movies from your Xbox-- how fancy.

Lesson Learned: Shut the fuck up.

I’m really excited to see Josh and Ashley on Friday, I miss them a lot. I especially miss my partner in crime! NO ONE DRUNKENLY STEALS SHIT WITH ME DOWN HERE! On that note, I totally sloppily swiped a horny potion from a porn store at 3 a.m. the other night. The clerk had broccoli hair, throw some cheese on that shit and it would have been delicious.

Lesson Learned: Some people just make you feel special, so it’s good to keep them around; especially if you’re in the mood for a felony.

I have all these things I want to do, but I don't have the motivation. What is that? 

Damn, feels like I've been confession happy lately. 

BY THE WAY, I'm totally bringing back Double Dutch this summer; just wait. 

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, too much going on in my head.

Life isn't a movie, so stop trying to direct it.