Naw, I'm good

My weekend has left me with a raspy voice, that's how grand it was. It is my homage to the memories created during my short stay in Seattle. 

To sum up my weekend:

- Danced to crappy music for four hours on Thursday night. 

- While I was in the HoneyBucket, my friend Katie was outside smoking a cigarette. A homeless gent approached her, I yelled from inside the portable-bathroom, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!" 

- Witnessed Cops, Fireman and fat women in tube tops going ape shit after someone shot to people at Folklife while I was there.

- Saw more hippies than God himself knew he created.

- Had an attractive asian guy (I know, what you're thinking, but he actually was cute) throw me into the bathroom stall and eat my face. It was decent. 

- Had a cholo knife fight. 

- Went on a roller-coaster with Jordan, the loudest man in existence. 

- Tristan made chili/curry/delicious corn on the cob with roasted artichoke. 

- Made friends with countless lesbians/men/people due to my friend Donovan guiding me around the largest gay bar in Seattle and introducing me to EVERYONE he knew. 

- Went to my friends dad's funeral, didn't know the words to the hymn, so I muttered "Gimme More" by Britney Spears under my breath. Distasteful? Me? Never. 

- At the same funeral, did the whole communion shabang, but accidently ate the piece of bread seductively from the preacher's hand. 

- Proceeded to eat twice my weight in cheese and crackers at the same funeral.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEKEND:

Okay, so on the way to Folklife, my friends and I hear this crazy ass dinosaur like sound. We look up at the roof top this building next to us to see:

Two seagulls at it like no tomorrow. That male seagull is balls deep, it's okay the female likes it. Look at their experience, what a moment of ecstasy. Little do you know they are fucking on a...

CHURCH! How classic.

Yes, my weekend was indeed a feat to be observed.